[Note nailed to the sally port of Castle Carfax]
Message to couriers:
Please ring and wait for up to 10 minutes, to give Igor enough time to hack his way back out of the conservatory. If there is no reponse, DO NOT leave deliveries with the neighbours, as they will only use them to create their own unspeakable horrors. Instead, kindly leave your parcel by throwing it over the castle walls. You will find the necessary trebuchet on the next mountain to the east.
The Castle Carfax Postal Team.